This past weekend we went to my cousin’s baby shower, which felt more like an adult baby shower rather than your typical baby shower. What do I mean by that? The party felt more as if the party wasn’t about the coming of the new bundle of joy but rather a party centered around the theme of a baby girl. There were lots of decorations of “it’s a girl” slogan along with pink ornaments, but lacked the comfort and warmth due to several factors. Everyone was downing the alcohol as if their life was depending on it and the majority of the guests were guys, but not just guys but drunk guys. By the end of the night, her husband was shirtless and running his mouth with nonsense. Most of the girls didn’t drink more than 2 shots, but they love drinking so I really didn’t know what was their deal that day. But I am so embarrassed about my awkward oldest brother because he’s bad enough when he’s sober but when he’s drunk, he runs like mouth like an idiot that we just have to tell him to just stop talking. I’m sure he doesn’t realize how stupid he is and it always pisses me off that he knows we have to go do stuff afterwards but he doesn’t know his limit and always over drink. By the end of the night, he’s laying around and not wanting to move until he sobers up a bit. Such a weak sauce! He should be like the other guys and just puke then get back up back to the party.

Lady bug cake, cupcakes, cake pop, assorted candies, oh my!

Real men drinking beer from the bottle! Oldest bro won 2 movie tickets.

I won the guessing game so I won the prize!

I guess my last few posts were all rants on my annoying family, but they just bug me at times especially my mother. She just doesn’t know how to interact with her own kids. She always tells us how we don’t know how to talk to people because we don’t go out and interact with enough people. Sure, that may be true that we don’t go out as much as my parents do but we do know how to carry on a conversation with people without making them want to punch you straight in the face. Here’s an example of how our mother would try to start a conversation with us…

Mother: So, how’s school?
Us: I just aced the test and won the highest award at the school.
Mother: Oh, really? Wow, you are so pathetic. You play too much games, you should go study more.
Us: Umm right…*walks away*
Mother: Your cousins never plays games and is the best!
Us: Umm they play games all the time and never does their homework.
Mother: They are the best! Never ever play games!
Us: *Face palm*

We get it though, it’s an Asian mother thing to always try to make your kids feel like crap so that they take their anger and use it as a driving force to be the best. Of course from the outside world, they see this aggressiveness more as an evil tyrannical dictatorship rather than a supporting and caring parenting. The drive to be the best is definitely to provide the child with the best future, but of course not all kids are tough enough to handle the pressure of being perfect or directing the anger in a positive intended direction. It’s times of failure where you wished you were from a Caucasian family because they would tell you it’s okay that you failed because at least you tried. For us Asians, even if our parents says it’s okay to have failed, the bickering mother would always remind you of how much of a failure you are by bringing up all your failures over and over just in case you forgot them. It’s like whatever you do in life will never be enough, because it’s not that you want more, it’s your parents that want more. As a parent, yes you want your child to be provided for and well taken care of but sometimes you have to accept they are happy where they are at in their lives. Not everyone wants the glamorous life, sometimes a nice and simple life is what you want.

Argggg~

There is one dick in my life that I would love to gladly replace for another dick but unfortunately to my dismay, you can’t trade family members. You can always trade friends like playing cards because friends comes and goes since there is no invisible cord attaching you. Family is another thing, you can try to run away and deny your relationship but you would always be bounded by DNA and in most cases, your surname. I said before that I do love my family but at the same time I hate them, but I don’t see myself living away from them except for one. I don’t know how someone can be so lazy and accepting of living in filth as if he thinks he’s trailer trash. He never cleans up after himself and reuses his dirty dishes and cups without washing of course. He’s beyond selfish and only helps himself or his friends, but even then he’s too lazy to even help himself but rather wants you to help him help himself. I remember as a kid, he was too lazy to take off his shoes when he got home, so he would stand there and call until I came to take his shoes off for him. Of course our housekeeper would yell at him and complain to our parents about his lazy ass. Growing up, all of my siblings were factory kids except for him because he didn’t care and felt he was too prized to help his family and just plain lazy. He never cared to show up to family events but of course whenever his friends ask for help or throw a party, he would be there no question asked. Of course when he’s in trouble, his friends are nowhere to be found or they really can’t help, so my family have to bail his ass. He always thinks he’s so smart and possess perfect intellect and memory, but of course that’s not true because he can never see his own faults. He may hate listening to my cousin’s husband talk, which we all do, but they’re more alike than he would want to admit. They’re always both running their mouths as if they understand the universe and how everything works. I still can’t believe how naive he was to ask one of our cousin if he can lend his friend like $15,000, but that’s not the surprising part. The catch was his friend was in jail. Any idiot would turn down that request so of course our cousin told his parents and they told my parents, and everyone is face palming themselves. My cousin is close to him but not that close, more so social-able close, which is pretty normal. You can have a lot of friends and family, but you’re only close to them in a social sense and nothing else. Only your immediate family in most cases, possess the will and drive to go further. However, sometimes you can have neither, but only yourself.

I feel that it’s a bit stuffy and crowded that I need a douche cleaning, except it’s not a douche cleaning for my vajayjay but for the crap in my life. I always feel that my family are always out to pit themselves against me for whatever reason even though I have no relation to whatever the issue is. My father always blames for not sweeping the stairs even though I just swept it. My mother always blames me for not cleaning up a mess even though it’s not even my mess because I always clean up my mess. Even though my parents are trying to lecture my siblings and I about being messy, it just always feels like they’re directing their rant at me. Why am I getting the blame when I’m the only one that cleans? It’s like they want me to play the role of the parent and teach my siblings to clean up their act. The hopeless one is my older brother because he’s the biggest slob of them all and I really do feel sorry for whichever girl that decides to marry him in the future since she will have to prepare to be his maid or be a lazy bum like him. It always peeves me when my mother would clean his room for him. Sure, he’s finally redoing his room after talking about it for maybe 5 years but I’m sure it’s going to be a mess again in a week like always. My older brothers always blames me for mishandling their funds when it’s really their spending habits that’s costing them all of their money and besides if they don’t trust me handling their money then they should take responsibility of their own bills like an adult. Then comes my little siblings, which I have to handle their paperwork and act as their “mother.” I don’t think the middle child should have to have all these freaking responsibilities especially if no one appreciates anything, maybe that makes me the black sheep. Sometimes, it makes you think maybe you were better off dead so everyone would get off their high horse to acknowledge how big you are in their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I do love my twisted family and it’s do or die with them but I can’t stand their guts. Thank goodness, my mother bought 3 crates of thai ice tea! XD

Ninja FTW!